“#MeToo As A Man I Too Have Something To Say, Please listen”, says Mirchi RJ Joseph Annamkutty Jose. The #MeToo campaign has taken hold of social media feeds across the globe. This campaign kick-started on 15th October. Later the social media was flooded with #metoo feeds.
Here in Kochi, Kerala we have an RJ who claims that he wants to say something. He posted this on his page ‘Mirchi RJ Joseph Annamkutty Jose’. This RJ is none other than Joseph K Jose who is the author of ‘Buried Thoughts’. It’s his autobiography where he speaks to us about love, remembrance, mistakes and hope that motivate us to re-examine our lives and find meaning in it. In his book, he speaks about his own life experiences with honesty and integrity. With each page he makes you feel that you too are a part of the plot. He is in total a ‘Superman’ with multiple roles -an author, a motivational speaker and also an RJ. Let’s listen to him in his own words:
Many in my friend circle have put #metoo hashtag. If these many girls have done it then we guys have to keep a hashtag #metooharassedWomen. Being a representative of the male society let me say something. It’s not a defense. It’s an acceptance. Either you can read it popping your eyes out or you can forgive by considering this as a confession from a man.
There is some problem in the way how God has structured us. When I asked my first lover if I can kiss her on her lips while we were all alone in a lift she replied,” Am scared Joseph, not to kiss you, but after this later if we fight, then the pain will be 100 times more than that of today”. For a man, a kiss is something that gives him pleasure but for a woman, it’s like giving themselves. After kisses and embraces, a man easily goes out for a movie with his friends but why a woman wishes to be loved more and talk more? It’s somewhat because of the hormone differences, even the creator who has created men with more sexual desire can’t edit us(Read the difference between estrogen and testosterone), the lifestyle and circumstances helped men to grow it. When an unknown lady stands close to us in a bus even without any negative thoughts why our body starts heating, why changes happen in our body?
Like it is said in Fr. Bobby Jose Kattikad’s book ‘Aval'(means ‘She’), “A body is something that comes at the end in love”. No one taught us this. Why did the teacher tell only to girls to keep their legs closed in childhood? Why did my grandma ask me to close my eyes when a lady danced in T.V. showing her belly? Why didn’t she ask my sister to close her eyes when men appeared in the same way? Why did our movies show “she has become a woman” with a shy and in a secretive way? Why always apsaras came to deviate the meditations? Why were we always shown that women’s body is something that attracts men? Why Ads that had no link with women were given the body and face of a woman?
Why no one taught us, that any touch without her permission is a violation? Why no one taught us that a woman’s umbilical cord is the symbol of the relation between a mother and her child? Being a man what kind of attention have I received to be raised well. I did not get 1/4th of the attention that a girl child got. I was not taught to consider woman as a human being rather I was told to consider woman as something that was to be protected from being taken away. That is why always a man goes with her at night, to secure her. If given something in hand asking ‘not to open’ then the desire will be to open it.
Change the usages ‘what if it was your mom or sister’ to ‘what if it was you or something that you don’t like’. When you touch or poke a woman out of your feeling, you should know that it’s not she who gets humiliated it is you. Men get humiliated not women. Women just lose their freedom. This is what we should teach our next generation. I strongly believe that if the law was a bit more strict we should have avoided more hashtags. But that is not there, including me all the men have been born and brought up in such a society.
If my mother was also a Facebook user then she might also have a lot of hashtags, every woman has a story. Being a young representative of this male society I would like to ask for forgiveness, for restricting your freedom. But with due respect bowing my head I would like to say that we men are not 100% responsible for this. I have only one thing to tell to all the women if you have a boy baby raise him as a good son. Teach him that any touch without love and permission is wrong. Like the Vedas teach you ‘Tat Tvam Asi (Its You)’, murmur in his ears that her body is yours.
Lord, if possible let all men become women and all women become men for a day. Let them understand how difficult it is to live as a man who has been produced with more sexual desire. Let us understand the sorrows of women. Let us both understand each other. Let us kiss with heart.
Joseph Annamkutty Jose
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